SweetPea Castle

Slow and Steady

... Wins the Race!  I don't have to remind myself to take it easy.  My body will not LET me do anything else.  A quick recap...

Monday, May 5th I completed the yummy bowel prep.  Tuesday, Jason had me at the hospital by 6am for surgery that was scheduled for 7:30am.  After the usual pleasantries, it wasn't long at all before the anesthesiologist came in with the "happy juice".  She injected it into my IV and the last thing I remember before being wheeled out of the prep area was kissing my wonderful husband.  They told him to go find a LOT of things to do that the surgery would be roughly 6 hours.  8... YES... 8!!! hours later they finally let him know that I had just been taken to recovery and would see him in probably another 2 hours in my room.  The surgery had a couple of unexpected complications and they had to give me two units of blood in the OR.  The entire rest of that day is a complete blur.  Wednesday, May 8th... I got two more units of blood throughout the day and plenty of pain medicine.  And my mother-in-law came to the hospital for a visit.  I got out of bed to sit in the chair for the first time.  My pca pump was removed sometime early in the day once I could eat and swallow the pain pills.  I kicked my husband out of the hospital to a local hotel for the night so that he could get some real sleep.  Thursday, May 9th... all hell broke loose  at 4am when they realized I had hit my max dosage for Tylenol based pain meds at my 1:30am dose and couldn't have any further medication until the doc could work out what I was allowed/could take.  Because of my many medication allergies and the fact that I was still nursing, they couldn't give me just anything.  I called my husband in tears because of the pain and he rushed right in to take care of me.  They didn't get it worked out until nearly 8:00am.  The doc came in and apologized.  Once we got the pain under control, the rest of the day was fabulous.  But, the lack of pain control and associated issues set me back and I was unable to go home that day.  I finally got to get out of bed for my first walk around the surgical floor right around 1pm.  Hospital food sucks!  Afternoon came and I started up a steady low-grade temp (for the second afternoon in a row) and it was decided that I definitely would not be going home today.  Friday, May 9th... a couple of walks around the floor and fever is under control.  Pain management seems to be working.  I was released right around 7pm to go home.

The doctor made a mistake on the prescription for pain meds and we couldn't get it filled - guess it really was a good thing we had decided to stop at a pharmacy less than 15 minutes or so from the hospital instead of driving the whole 2 hours home.  We rushed back to the hospital to get them to fix it all.  By then, I was in a LOT of pain again and very stressed.  We got everything temporarily resolved and got one of the two pain meds that was supposed to last me through the weekend.  I didn't think to ask the doctor what the NEW dosing instructions would be without the other pain med.  So, at 3:30am on Saturday I was shaking and hysterical with pain.  My wonderful mother and husband managed to move the rocker/glider from the nursery into my bedroom for me to try to get a little more sleep in.  And, once I spoke with the doctor in the morning and got the new dosing instructions we were doing great again.  I wasn't able to nurse Josiah at all on Saturday.  He just wouldn't latch on and I was still in considerable pain.  On Sunday, I got the BEST Mother's Day present of all when Josiah latched right on and spent the day nursing to his hearts content with my mother's help.  Monday, May 12th we got the prescription issues worked out with the surgeon and my local primary care doctor.  Tuesday, I had a kink in my foley catheter and thought I wanted to die right around lunch time.  Once we figured out what was wrong, I just spent the rest of the day resting and thanking God for His amazing mercy in it being something so simple and easily resolved.  I even managed to hobble downstairs and out onto the back deck to sit and breath in the beautiful sunny day and relax in one of the gliders mom got for my deck.  Sunshine, a nice breeze, good pain control and beautiful orchard/mountain views... God's therapy at it's best.

That brings us to today... it's been a good day.  It wasn't as warm outside, but I did manage to get outside to get some fresh air and relax for a bit.  Josiah is still nursing 100% of the time with no supplementation and no seeming adverse reactions to my current meds.  All of my little ones are adjusting rather well.  My husband is working amazingly hard to be all that we need of him right now.  My mom is still sleeping on my couch and here nearly 24/7 to make sure we are okay through this week. Oh... and my laptop was shipped to HP today to be repaired while I recover.  I'm working on this "loaner" my hubby provided.

Tomorrow is yet another day and another time for the Lord to show my family His amazing love and provision for us.  I plan to pick up my socks and continue my knitting tomorrow.  I might even finish them depending on how the day goes.  Hug your loved ones and never forget to take time to show them just how important they are to you.  You might not have another chance and they need to hear it from you.

Godspeed... ~ Tiffani

A New Journey Begins

It is hard to believe that this journey is over.  After so many years of praying for "just one more child" and finally coming to the commitment to return our fertility to God's hands, this is an adjustment.  We prayed for several years before God provided the finances for my tubal reversal in December 2000.  We committed right then to completely leave our fertility in God's hands and trust Him with whatever He gave us.  It's not always been an easy walk, but it's been more than we could have ever imagined.  So, 7 pregnancies and four living miracles later, the Lord has closed my womb.

I would be a liar if I didn't say that I am actually quite sad about this.  But, I would be even more of a liar if I didn't say that I'm also quite relieved by this.  Jason and I were definitely ready to be "done" with this season of child-bearing.  We are blessed beyond imagination with our current quiver-full.  But, we are excited about being able to focus on our children and have some restoration in our marriage.

It's difficult to go from having nearly young adults and a LOT of freedom... to having a housefull of young children who need your constant attention.  I have been pregnant, nursing, or miscarrying for the last 7 1/2 years.  My husband is looking forward to getting his wife back.  ;-)

So, as I move out of one season and into another, I am cherishing each and every moment with my children.  They truly do grow up way too fast.  I am focusing on proper training and education.  I am also cherishing the time to get my body back in shape.  I won't be allowed to do any real exercise for 4-6 months.  But, I'm going to walk and eat right until then.  I am going to take the time to bring my family back to regular meals around the dining room table - meals that are healthy, yummy, and prepared with love.

I have been married to the love of my life for over 20 years.  I have 6 beautiful children.  I have a gorgeous house and a church and family that loves me.  Life is good.

My pastor gave my husband this scripture when I was struggling the other night...

Psalms 9:10 ~ And those who know Your name will put their trust in you, For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.

We have a date!

My surgery will happen on May 6th.  This is to repair the pelvic prolapse that happened after Josiah's birth.  The will be introducing mesh support structure for my bladder and pelvic floor.  And, I will be having a hysterectomy.  The Lord has said that we are done.  I will be so very glad to get my body back in proper functioning order again.  Right now, I am constantly uncomfortable and dealing with regular urinary tract infections.  Praise the Lord for His provision of doctors and health insurance.

This WILL mean that a lot of things are on the back burner for a couple of months.  I will be completely unable to lift anything over 8 pounds for 6-8 weeks after surgery.  And, I'll have to slowly work up from there.  I am finishing up my current MudpieBabies custom list and not taking any further customs until after I've recovered.  I'll be working on instock listings until surgery... and then once again after I can stand to be in the sewing room again.  Of course, I'll update my announcements list as soon as I'm ready to take on custom work again.

Josiah is still feeling awful and struggling with a high fever.  So, I'm off to let him swing while I try to get some sewing done.  That's the gist of yesterdays biggest news.  I'll post again tonight after I get some work done and the children are down for the night.

What do you get?

with all four children struggling with fevers between 101 and 104.5?

Nothing much done and a lot of snuggling required. 

Eliana woke up from a rare nap yesterday with a 104.5 fever.  We got it down finally, but she's still over 101 most of the time.  She's got a stuffy nose and just doesn't feel well.  Noah is stuffy, hot and doesn't feel well.  Tabitha is hot, runny and taking a nap right now.  Josiah was up last night with a 103.5 fever and is still struggling to keep it down.  He's sleeping fitfully in his swing right at this moment.

I have a 2:30pm appointment with the ped for Josiah.  Because he is still so young and has such a high fever, they want him to come in... just to be "safe".  The only "good" thing about having to drive down to Winchester... is that I will just have to stop at Starbucks on the way back.  :-)  I'm also taking my knitting bag with me so that I might be able to get some more rows finished on my socks.

Oh... speaking of SOCKS!!!  ooppss... I forgot... that'll be another post when I can sit down longer to write my praises of these new Knitpicks option long cable needles!  They are AWESOME!!!  More later.  I need to sew while my poor little ones are resting.  I have two orders to ship out tomorrow and another one or two to ship on Friday.

Who am I... a Christian woman

1 Kings 8:57, 58, & 61 ~ 57 "May the LORD our God be with us, as He was with our fathers; may He not leave us or forsake us, 58 that He may incline our hearts to Himself, to walk in all His ways and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His ordinances, which He commanded our fathers. 61 "Let your heart therefore be wholly devoted to the LORD our God, to walk in His statutes and to keep His commandments, as at this day." 

Above all else in life, I am a Christian woman.  I struggle with life just like every other woman.  I am VERY far from perfect.  But, I am forgiven and committed to living for my lord, Jesus Christ.  I could write so much more about this topic, but I'd rather let my daily walk speak for me.  I'm not here to force my beliefs on anyone else.  But, if how I live my life makes someone want to know more about what I believe and why... well, I'll be glad to share.

I believe in women being feminine and modest.  I believe in raising my children with "old-fashioned" values and convictions.  I believe that being a woman is one of the most powerful and yet gentle roles in the world.  And, I am very happy to be a Christian woman today!

Godspeed... ~ Tiffani

Who am I?

Life has recently caused me to take a fresh look at who I am... or am not and why.  Sometimes we get so lost in the turmoil going on around us that we forget who we really are.  I am going through a season in life that is about to change.  I find this a perfect time for some healthy introspection and soul searching.  So, please bear with me as I take the next few posts to delve into this topic a bit.  Writing has always been a sort of mental health salve for me... sort of a healing process.

What brings this on?  Well, really lots of things.  But, the biggest being the fact that I am facing surgery in the next several weeks to repair this prolapse.  This surgery will also include a hysterctomy.  The bottom line is that my insides are falling into (and out of) the opening of my womb.  So, while I am looking forward to being healthy again... I am not looking forward to surgery and/or the recovery that will be necessary.  I am also praising the Lord for His answer to our prayers about our fertility.  But, I'll get to that more later (in another post).

There are many answers to who I am... and I plan to explore each one seperately... here's a partial list:

• Christian Woman
• Wife
• Homemaker
• Mother
• Artist

These are sort-of in order... but, there are times that life necessitates one coming higher than another for a time.  But, those are the basics of who I am.  I'm looking forward to remembering why I am each one and what I love about each.

Proverbs 31:10-31 ~ An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells {them,} And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband {also,} and he praises her, {saying:} 29 "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, {But} a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

Productive Day

It's been a productive day.  Mom and I finished a complete order and our planned in-stock stuff today.  So, I need to get the pics edited and the details up for a Monday MPB stocking.  There won't be any custom slots open yet.  I've still got quite a few in my current list and want to get them all finished before opening any more.  I also have some medical things coming up that will require some downtime.  More about that later.

I have some long circs and yarn that are calling to me... they are calling with a sock pattern that has my name on it.  I can hardly wait.  My mom knit me the most wonderful pair of socks for Christmas and that did it for me.  I have come over to the "dark side" and am going to knit myself some socks.  It's an addiction that I can handle.  It's a small project that is easy to carry with me and it's a nice luxury for myself.

On the downside, Jason is definitely sick.  I am glad that it took him this long and that the Tamiflu seems to have helped a little to keep things from being any worse.  I still wish he hadn't come down with it at all.  It just sucks to have my family sick.  We're still praying that the girls continue to stay healthy.

I'll post an updated to-do list on Monday with my current MPB custom list and status.  I'll be out of town all day Monday at doctors' appointments.  I should have an update either late that evening or the next day.

In the meantime, it's time to play with the littles for a bit before bedtime and then get my store stocked for Monday.  Our family will be spending the day home resting tomorrow so that everyone gets better.  I miss church... but we HAVE to get and stay healthy.  Godspeed... ~ Tiffani

The sickies strike again!

Bah!  Everytime I think we might be ahead of this, we all get sick again.  This time, nearly the whole church is fighting off the various forms of the flu.  I started feeling poorly on Thursday and just got progressively worse.  It started as a tickle in my throat and a chesty cough.  Friday night I gave up and realized that I was seriously ill.  I spent all day Saturday and Sunday in bed.  I NEVER stay in bed all day.  Every time I got up, the room was spinning and it was all I could do to get right back into bed.  The chest cough is one of the worst I've ever had and my throat is still raw.  I struggled with a fever of 104ish for over 24 hours.  It finally broke sometime last night and I am beginning to feel human again.

Noah started feeling poorly on Saturday afternoon.  It started as a simple cough and sniffle.  I thought he was going to end up the same as me.  He was bored watching TV in my room and decided to go lay in his own bed and play quietly.  He wasn't gone for 15 minutes when he came back through my bedroom door barfing.  Uhm... yuck!  His bathroom was definitely closer, but he wanted comfort.  Pappy (God bless him!) came over and cleaned up Noah's bed and my bathroom while we got Noah situated.  He's still down with the fever and upset stomach.  There seriously isn't anything left in the poor little man's tummy.  I'm praying that the fever breaks this evening and he gets some good rest so that he feels better tomorrow.

Josiah has been cranky and unsettled all day.  I can only pray that this is as bad as he gets.  Jason said that he's feeling a little funny this afternoon too.  That just leaves the girls (in our house) and I really can't fathom anyone else being sick right now.  Of course, mom went home a little bit ago.  I think she too has succumbed to this sickness.  Pappy?!?  Well... he hasn't said one way or the other if he's got this for sure or not... but then again... he is usually too stubborn to tell anyone when he's sick or let it disrupt much of his daily life.

So, if you were expecting to hear from me recently or soon... please know that it may be a couple more days or so.  I didn't look at my computer nearly all weekend and didn't respond to anything.  I'm still not responding to anything yet.  I don't want to make commitments that I just can't keep yet.

Praise the Lord... I just cannot wait until His triumphant return and pray even more fervently that it is soon.  No more pain, sickness, fear, death... that will truly be Heaven!

Broken in body, but not in spirit

I know that the only way I am going to get my health back in order is to get into regular exercise and proper eating again.  My blood pressure is awful high and my weight is just as bad.  I do NOT want to have to go back on the bp medicine again.  So, I am working hard right now to reign it in.  However, I have been feeling really awful the past week or so.  I know that most of it is directly related to the pain from the bladder prolapse issue.  But, that just isn't very comforting when it is so dangerous.

But, this is a physical and spiritual battle for me.  I need to be a good steward of everything that God has given me... and that includes this frail body.

On that note, I am excited to say that I've managed to do my elliptical workout every day since the doctor released me to be able to exercise again!  I am also drinking more water and making sure that I get plenty of rest.  I am 5' 2.5" and 37 years old.  My goal weight is 140 lbs.  I'd love to get lower than that, but that is realistic right now.  My starting weight was 196 on Friday morning before going to my doctor's appointments.  I intend to weigh in every Friday morning.  I am also nagging... erm... I mean... spurring my husband on in his own weight loss efforts.  ;-)

I have an appointment in two weeks to get the ball rolling and get surgery scheduled to fix this prolapse issue.  I am nervous and yet very excited at the same time.  I am sure that the Lord has this in His hands and I am resting in that.  So, working on my health in the meantime is an excellent plan.

Knitting is going well... and sewing is starting to get a bit more productive too.  This is going to be an odd week though.  Jason is out of town from Thursday through Saturday.  I'm going to have my hands quite full.  But, next week should be less stressful.  Tabitha has her 18 month well check at the pediatrician on Friday.  So, I will check in again after that... if I don't do so before then.  Godspeed... ~ Tiffani

Happy Valentine's Day!

Why yes... I AM really tired.  This was taken on Sunday afternoon after a long day.  Josiah is sporting the longies and hat that I finished knitting for him in the last two weeks.  They fit wonderfully and he was sleeping really well at the time.

Today is Valentine's Day... a day where we take time to celebrate our love for one another.  I was recently reminded just how precious life is and that we should never take a single day for granted... we are not guaranteed another here on earth.  So, that is what I am trying to do from here on out... cherish each and every day as if it could very well be my last, or the last of someone I love.

My husband, Jason, is my soulmate.  He completes me.  He knows me better than anyone else in this world... and he still loves me.  He has seen me at my best and at my worst and is still here.  We have been married for 21 years this coming August.  I truly cannot imagine my life without him in it.  And, as much as I LOVE our children... I cannot wait to grow old with my husband and have more time with just the two of us.  And what's great is that I KNOW he feels the same way.  Honey, I love you the mostest!

Today, it has been six weeks since Josiah was welcomed into this world and truly captured our hearts.  The medicine we got on Monday for his reflux is really making a big difference.  I need to call the pediatrician about adjusting it a little.  But, we expected that and he is doing MUCH better now.  He is beginning to bless us with little hints of a real smile.  And, you should see Tabitha just light up when she sees him.  She is in love with her baby brother and it shows.  She is amazingly gentle with him.

Time to get back to the children.  Eliana wants to watch a movie and we are just waiting for Noah to finish his last page of homeschool work.  I'm hoping to get a little bit of knitting in before Josiah wakes up from his nap, too.  Today is a good day.  Again... Happy Valentine's Day!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ~ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.