SweetPea Castle

Good news/bad news...

Well, the regular stuff from the hysterectomy and prolapse repair are healing beautifully.  And, if I wasn't having other complications, I would be released.  BUT... I AM having other complications.

The best news is that I can take a nice hot soaking bath tonight!  I know that the rest of the work that was done is healing very well and that once we fix this other issue that I should be just fine.  He also knows that my husband is out of work in the next couple of weeks and so this other issue needs to get resolved right away.

The bad news is that the problem I am having with being unable to urinate on my own requires surgery to "release" the bladder sling that they put in during my surgery.  I should get a call from their office sometime this week with a surgery date sometime next week.  Praise God that this is outpatient surgery and will require much less recovery time than I've already had to go through.  While I am NOT looking forward to additional surgery, I AM looking forward to getting this over with and getting back to "normal" life soon.

I will update further once I have a surgery date.  But, otherwise I am trying to spend some time with my family and get what little sewing done that I can this week.  I know that God has all of these things under control and so I am resting in Him and not worrying.

Godspeed... ~ Tiffani

Stockings and Custom Orders...

I've had some recent emails with questions about when the store will be stocked next and/or when I'll be taking custom orders.  I was trying to wait to answer these here until next week.  But, I want to post here really quick.

Because of the post surgery complications, I am still unsure about when I will be stocking the store or opening up for customs again.  I should know a little more this coming week after my post-op doctor appointment tomorrow.  Since I am still having complications and anticipate the likelihood of another surgery soon to resolve these issues... I just don't want to commit to something that I cannot manage.

I miss sewing and the interaction with my customers.  I hope to be returning to regular stockings and orders soon.  But, I will post here and also to the Yahoo! group as soon as I know what the plans are.

Happy Father's Day!

To the most wonderful man who captures my heart again and again... I love you!

You have been here with me for the last 21+ years.  We've really grown up together... and I can't wait to grow old together.  You have grown so much as a man... as a husband... and as a father over these years.  I am blessed by how much God has done in our lives.

I know how difficult the last several months have been for you... and especially the last six weeks.  It's never easy to step into shoes that you were never intended to fill.  To have to continue to be a husband and dad... and yet also be mom and nurse/caregiver... well, it's nearly impossible work.  Thank you for putting up with all of us and for taking such good care of me.  I love you.

Dad... Happy Father's Day!  I pray that you are staying dry and cool.

Daddy... you rock!  You've been here putting up with my brood for weeks now.  You've taken on tasks that "retirement" just shouldn't require.  You deserve a break and I'm trying to send mom home earlier and more often.  ;-)

To all of the other men in our family... Happy Father's Day!  Cherish the time that you have with your loved ones.  Your children will grow up faster than you know.  And, you just never know how much time you will have with us all.

Godspeed... ~ Tiffani

My First Socks

I did finally manage to finish knitting my first ever pair of socks.  I am mighty proud of myself.  Of course, it's taken EONS!

Yarn:  Plumknit Yarn Supply 80/20 (yummy wool/cashmere blend!) in the "Flying Colors" colorway
Pattern: Sensational Knitted Socks in the "Laburnum" pattern

I will "try" to get this uploaded into my Flickr gallery and on Ravelry in the next week or so.  But, no promises.  I already have a TON of pics to upload to Flickr.  ;-)

I haven't blocked these yet and still need to tuck in my tails.  But, I am very pleased with the end result.  Next time I do this pattern, I'll have to pick a "simpler" colorway.  I got it orginally because all of the colors intrigued me and I figured I'd give it a try.  Now, having knit them... not so much my thing.  But, hey.  The busyness hid a multitude of sins.  :-)

Now, onto my May LTK sock of the month club.  I've already cast on for them, but ran into a piece in the instructions that I just can't quite wrap my mind around.  I'm sure it's simple... but I just ain't gettin in right now.  And, I'd blame it on the pain meds... except that I haven't taken but two in the past two days.  So, I'm going to try one more time to sort it out in my mind and wait to hear back from Teresa.  This colorway is just gorgeous and I can't wait to finish these socks and wear them!

Photo Happy!

I am trying to stay focused on the positive in life... instead of dwelling on my ongoing post-surgery complications.  No, I still cannot pee on my own.  I have a doctor's appointment next week and will update more after that.  Until then, you'll just have to suffer through an update full of pics of my four younger children.  My oldest two are 19 and 21... and do not like having their pictures taken.  They run whenever we pull out the camera when they are visiting.

Josiah... he is 5 months old and an absolute JOY right now.  He's begun to scoot himself across the floor on his tummy and is about to be into everything.  Boy are we in for a lot of fun!  He's also very easily amused by things such as tags and noisy toys.  ;-)

Tabitha... she will be two years old the end of next month and is just beginning to let us know it's time to potty learn.  I am... and yet am not... ready for this.  She still doesn't talk and so we are teaching her the signs for "potty".  I learned a long time ago that once they learn how to remove their diapers... it's time to start.  She's ready.  She also LOVES bringing the box of bath toys out and playing with them on my bed.

Eliana... she won't be 4 until December.  She's the spitting image (and personality most of the time) of her older sister, Kyra.  This has it's challenges, but at least we know what we are in for.  She's always goofy.

Noah... he will be 7 in September.  WHERE did the time go?!?  We are starting 2nd grade in the next couple of months (doing my curriculum/schoolyear planning now).  I can hardly wait to work with him.

Since Tabi doesn't talk (she still has some residual hearing issues), we have a hard time keeping her attention while reading.  But, she loves to sit in my lap and help turn pages.  And yes... that IS me.  I cannot wait to be able to get into a regular exercise program again.

I've got a couple more rows to knit to finish these socks... so I'm off to take care of that.  I'm already WAY behind on knitting my socks for last month.  I should get the next set of yarn and pattern before I'm even halfway done with this next pair.  At least these look heavenly and the yarn is beautiful.  Mom's has almost completed her pair already.  Enjoy the rest of your week and take the time to tell those around you just how much they mean to you... you never know how long you have with them.

Godspeed... ~ Tiffani

5 months!

Josiah is 5 months old today!  And, boy is he grumpy... he's teething.

This picture was his quick late afternoon cat-nap.  ;-)  He is getting big and doing really well.  He nurses great, loves to play with his feet, loves his little toys and is adored by his siblings.  I am beyond blessed!

Today is also four weeks since my surgery.  I wish I had some miraculous report of healing, but I just don't.  I trust that the Lord has me and my family right where we need to be.  I am still believing for a complete healing without any further surgical intervention.  But, the Lord's will be done.

A precious sister on a support board I'm on posted this scripture for me today and I am clinging to it with renewed hope and faith...

Mark 5:34 ~ And He (Jesus) said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction."

The More I Seek You...

Oh, to be able to rest in the bosom of the Lord... and just BE.  What joy!  I can think of nothing better.

As as worship singer, I am in awe of the tremendous gift that the Lord has bestowed upon Kari Jobe.  And, I would love to have just a sliver of her amazing vocal skills.  However, I am content right where the Lord has me... being a wife, mother, and small business owner.  I am blessed to be able to support my husband daily in his ministry as a Worship Leader.

Church today was awesome!  I am very very sore.  But, the fellowship and teaching was just what I needed to refresh my soul.  Tomorrow starts another week.  Tonight, it's off to get some rest.

Godspeed... ~ Tiffani

Heart struggles...

Hebrews 11:1 ~ Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 

Still can't urinate on my own... Each time I feel like things might be moving forward... they aren't.  I am tired and grumpy and to say anything else really wouldn't honor God right now.  My heart longs to be touched by Jehova Rapha... The Lord My Healer.  Tomorrow is another day... another day to see the Glory of the Lord and to rest in His presence.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ~ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

There are times when our children have grown that we just cannot fathom why they make the choices they do.  We cannot understand how they could hurt us so deeply by going against our wishes and our convictions.  How can we continue to show them God's love and yet still show them His judgement and consequences?  This was so much easier when they were little and still under our roof and care.  So, for now I do the only things I can... I pray (fervently and frequently)... I speak the truth in love... and I pray some more... and continue to love them as Christ has loved me.

Galatians 5:22-23a ~ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control;

Philippians 4:8 ~ Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

One tube to another...

It's just a different type of catheter...

I had my appointment with the urogynecologyst on Tuesday morning.  I am still unable to urinate on my own.  So, he removed the foley catheter and gave me the necessary instructions and equipment for Intemittent Self Catheterization.  It's really rather simple and is MUCH better than having to walk around everywhere with a tube and bag attached.

This improvement has not been without stress and some drama.  But, I am praying that we are beyond that point and moving forward.  I would be a liar if I didn't say that I am still struggling with depression over my body not functioning properly yet.  The doctor reasssured me that this is still within the normal levels.  Some people just take longer to recover and all of us recover at different paces.  That is slightly encouraging, but not much.

I am striving each morning to take time with the Lord and thank Him for all of the blessings in my life.  And, even for the trials.  Without the trials, we wouldn't grow. 

I am thankful for the small things... and the large.  I have a beautiful home and we aren't struggling to make the payments on it.  We have two cars that are paid for and run beautifully.  My husband has a job that covers what we need... and although we know that his days there are numbered, we trust that the Lord has already provided what we need when that day comes.  I have six amazing children.  My two young adult children are on their own and living life without getting into trouble with the law.  They are good children.  I just pray that they were both more Godly.  Honestly, that is MY failure more than theirs.  But, the choices they make now are ones that they are accountable for.  So, I pray for their future.  My four young ones are teachable and amazing.  I am so grateful for the chance to raise these miracles for Jesus.

My parents live next door to us and are awesome.  They put up with us daily and bless us in ways that we could never ever repay.  They are here every day right now helping to care for me and the children so that Jason can continue to work and so that everything I usually do is taken care of.

I have an amazing sewing business that I LOVE doing.  I cannot wait to be able to get back into the sewing room.  Of course, I am going to sew some clothing for my children before I get back to working on diapers again.  I refuse to pay for the clothing that you find in stores today.  It is meant to make my children grow up believing that they can and should show off their bodies with no thought to modesty or temptation.  So, I am going to sew their clothing (and mine).  THIS is exciting to me.  I am also looking forward to taking on custom diaper orders again.  I love being able to work with a customer to come up with their dream diaper combinations.  I am also working on some changes/additions to my current product line that should come by the end of the year.

I have a church family that I miss and adore.  I haven't been to church in many weeks because of the distance and health issues.  I miss it.  But, I have ladies calling and writing to me to keep me encouraged.  They have no idea just how much this means to me right now.

There is just so much more that I spend my day telling the Lord how truly thankful I am.  So, I'm going to stop this post here before it becomes entirely too long.  I am sore and tired.  But, I rejoice that today the Lord is going to meet me right where I am at and be all that I need.  He is going to bless my husband and family beyond my wildest imagination.

Ps 118:24 ~ This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Yet I will praise Him!

Habakkuk 3:17-19 ~ Though the fig tree should not blossom And there be no fruit on the vines, {Though} the yield of the olive should fail And the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold And there be no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.  The Lord GOD is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' {feet,} And makes me walk on my high places. For the choir director, on my stringed instruments. 

This is truly my heart... in everything that comes my way, I wish to glorify the Lord my God.  He has brought my family through so much.  I couldn't imagine being anywhere else right now.

Today, the tape came off my abdominal incision.  Then, I enjoyed a nice hot shower.  After that... I'm exhausted.  I'm planning to wander down the stairs and sit out back in a nice chair on the deck.

But, it is a good day... I'm feeling a little better each day.